Friday, February 11, 2011

Insert witty title here :)

I realized something today. Actually, two different somethings. =) This morning on my run I kept passing the same few people over and over. The second time I passed an older couple they laughed and said, "You need to slow down. You're making us look old!"  I passed a younger guy running and he said, "Geesh girl, you're flying." On my 4th mile, a guy asked me how many I had done so far and I told him 4 today. He shook his head and said wow. I kinda got a chuckle out of that since this was my shorter run this week. As I was jogging my cool down mile I realized that when people see me running they see a runner. They no longer see a fat girl trying to run to lose weight! It really hit me because it's taken awhile for my brain to catch up and realize I'm not overweight anymore.

Then tonight while I was sitting in class I felt the old negative self-talk creeping into my head. The girl that sits next to me is a tall, thin, gorgeous girl. Each week she happily munches away at a bag of Doritos, slurps down a HUGE shake or one of those energy drinks - but she's still a size 0. If that. It's sickening. And she makes sure that her body is clearly visible even on nights like tonight - windy, raining, and 45 degrees. I hate sitting next to her because it makes me feel so fat and disgusting. I'm constantly criticizing myself. Why can't I look like that? Why can't I have her stomach? Why can't I be 5 ft.10 with mile-long legs? =)

I overheard her and a few other girls talking tonight and she was saying bragging about how she's just naturally thin and doesn't have to work out. Someone asked her how old she was and she said 19. Then all of a sudden it hit me. When I was 19 I ate like a cow and was a size 0 too. In a few years when age, time, and years of bad habits have caught up to her - I'll be the skinny one!!  And not only that, I may not be a size 0 but I am strong, healthy, and the only one in my class that doesn't ride the elevator to the 3rd floor.

And to top it all off, I took my measurements today and found out I lost 3 inches around my waist in one month!!! Whoo Hoo!!! Go me! =)

1 comment:

  1. You were never fat my dear!! You are beautiful no matter what size you are, but I am so proud of you for getting to a point where you are comfortable with yourself!

    Screw the other people..God made you YOU for a reason =) Besides...who wants to be all skin and bones anyway!? Love you!!